I asked for Grace’s opinion about my explanation for the past two weeks of vacation. She said “it sounds like the final sentence of the passage should read ‘three days later I slit my wrists.’” She obviously didn’t see the humor in it or share my pride in successfully writing in the third person. I later pointed out that it might be the egg nog and that maybe watching Deadwood wasn’t such a good idea. This confusion is exactly how I feel about today’s sweater.

Today’s sweater is a tightly knit black  cardigan adorned with embroidered poinsettias and enough imitation pearl and other beads to clink when you walk. The pearls are connected by dotted lines of shiny beads that resemble the kinds of balls you’d dress a cake with. They are not edible. And how insightful of the manufacturer to sew ONE small bead on the inside of the cardigan in case you happen to lose ONE of the hundreds of beads on the outside. The complete package gives the impression of black graph paper crawling with flowered vines. While this is definitely a women’s sweater (maybe a math teacher’s) the buttons are on the right side. And it’s the buttons that really stop me. They, like most Christmas sweater cardigan sweater buttons are plastic with knit covering but on the front of these buttons are sewn seven shiny beads.  The buttonholes are clearly too small for the pearl adorned buttons. What I’d love to ask the previous owner of this sweater is, “were the beads sewn onto the buttons when you bought it or did you think that there just weren’t enough beads on the sweater to begin with?”

The film to pair with this bad creation and the primary passage of this post is Bad(der) Santa (Unrated Edition). For those who originally wrote off this film as filthy, depraved, and utterly despicable, you’re not wrong. But first and foremost, this is a Christmas Film which means that it is one of redemption, forgiveness and family. Just maybe not your family. But still, this is as close to an adult date film as you can get, with Billy Bob Thornton playing the rock bottom Santa thief and Gilmore Girls’ Lauren Graham playing the cute barmaid with a Santa fetish. It has held up well over the past couple years and is worth a second look.

The history of the Christmas film is as rich as the varied story elements used in the genre. Long before everyone’s favorites of A Christmas Story and It’s a Wonderful Life the folklore and familiar themes were being explored by filmmakers at the dawn of the film medium. The earliest Christmas film (that I can find in the historical record) was a series of three short films first shown in 1896. In 1898, G.A. Smith used landmark (at the time) special effects to show a special visit by Saint Nick (watch the video here). The Christmas film most often remade, the Dickensian A Christmas Carol, was first made in 1901 as Scrooge; or Marley’s Ghost. This film also holds the title of  ”oldest surviving film adaptation”.

Animation techniques  have converted some of our most beloved folklore heroes into stop motion forms. First, we have Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (1964), next, claymation Santas, and of course A Charlie Brown Christmas. Newer animated films like Burton’s A Nightmare Before Christmas have explored the themes of compassion, giving and community in a setting other than the traditional North Pole. Similar modern films have begun to explore the management role of the Christmas season, portraying elves, santa or others in their own moral dilemmas related to the toil and stress associated with delivering toys for all the girls and boys, every year, without fail.

Lest you think all Christmas films are wholesome with a packaged Hollywood ending, this is far from the truth. The genre itself even contains documentaries and camp. Two new-ish documentaries shed light on the effects of Christmas, one positive, one negative. In the oscar nominated Joyeux Noel, we learn of an unlikely pact formed on Christmas Eve between WWI soldiers of Germany, France, and Scotland. Fast forward 75 years and we witness the negative results of that goodwill among men in the anti-capitalist documentary What Would Jesus Buy?. On the opposite side of the spectrum, in 1964 someone decided that Santa’s iconic role was larger than Earth, hence the campy horror of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. An otherworldly theme was revisited this decade by Wayne Coyne (of Flaming Lips) in his 2008 film Christmas on Mars.

The above overview is merely a glance at the beloved Christmas genre. There are many others, and over the course of this month I plan to watch 31 of them.  Every day along with your sweater picture you’ll also receive a movie recommendation for that particular day.  Some will be old favorites and some will be widely available but hopelessly obscured by Christmas’ heavy hitters. I hope you enjoy them.

Christmas Sweater 03:

This is the first homemade Christmas sweater of this year and oh how it allows me to comment on the brilliance of homemade things. The actual contstruction of this sweater began, as most homemade sweaters do, with a red sweatshirt. Most people prefer Hanes, I don’t know why, it’s just the sweatshirt of choice for crafty mothers. This particular sweater includes sewn on ruffled circles, each one with a colored rhinestone inset at the center. Put together they make a ruffly and gorgeous christmas tree shape. You might also notice that two of the circles are missing. This is what makes a Christmas sweater special: poor construction. I guarantee the owner of this sweater, had their family not forced them to throw it out, would have worn the sweater until so few circles remained that the christmas tree shape was no longer discernable. And that’s what makes it special. Christmas sweaters are made with love.

Today’s movie recommendation is also about love, love between a priest and his cathedral. 1947′s The Bishop’s Wife tells the story of a Bishop trying to rally support for the building of a new cathedral, to the detriment of the relationships in his life, his wife included. Help arrives in the form of a guardian angel (Cary Grant) sent to look over the Bishop and his flock, just not in the way the Bishop expects.  The angel easily galvanizes the community and in the process develops some questionable feelings towards the Bishop’s wife. This situation leaves the Bishop to take control of his life again and…I don’t want to spoil the juicy ending, you’ll just have to watch it on your own.

If Rene’s sweater, highly prized, the best sweater I’ve seen, a personal favorite that she’s held onto all these years, I started wondering who else might have something in their closet whose story deserves to be told. And with that I would like to invite you to send me your Christmas sweaters. I will memorialize the sweaters with a picture and tell the story of your sweater. If you live in Houston, I’ll even come and pick up the sweater from you. If you don’t live in Houston, you can email me at (mwettergreen blip gmail blop com) or you can just mail it to the following address and I’ll pay the shipping:

Matthew Wettergreen
4820 Caroline
Houston TX, 77004

My friend Areej tells me that she’s sending a Christmas Sweater with South African Santa on it, all the way from Pretoria, near Johannesburg. With that as a kick-off there’s no telling what we’ll find.

Today’s Gem, Christmas Sweater #02:

This sweater confuses me. I considered not including it at all because it looks, well, fashionable. As in, not outdated or obnoxious. It’s actually something I would wear out or to a non-Christmas sweater party. To test the fashionable hypothesis, I wore this sweater to the Culture Map opening tonight and no one gave it a second look. Kudos to me for blending in with normal humans, even with this ridiculous mustache (don’t forget to visit Mustaches for Kids and donate to support mustaches and Workshop Houston).

As I said, this sweater is mind boggling as an entry to the Christmas Sweater project. It’s missing all the red flags of a normal bad Christmas sweater: flashy ornaments, shiny items, poorly chosen patterns. Instead what you see is a tan cardigan with a pleasing mix of alpine-sweater-like patterns matched modestly with Christmas imagery. The imagery itself is also rather subdued, a reindeer, holly sprig, snowflake, simple Christmas tree, fleece mitten.

Also confusing to me is why a veteran psych-rocker would want to spend five years filming a space alien film in his backyard, using found objects for props and his comedian friends for actors. The movie I’m referencing is of course The Flaming Lips’ Christmas on Mars. The story unfolds as colonized (but now stranded) Mars is set to celebrate their first Christmas. Enjoy this puzzling film paired with an equally questionable Christmas sweater.

This has been a delightful month to grow a mustache, raise money for education, then wear sweaters and raise awareness and money for an organization contributing to the improvement of Houston. Despite DavidTong ‘s repeated threats to set me on fire if he caught me in a sweater, mirth and happiness was brought to people everywhere.

All told, $183 was raised for Houston Goodwill and hundreds of people were made aware of the great programs and services that Houston Goodwill provides.

I would like to personally thank the many people who made this Christmas Sweater experiment a joy to carry out. First, Terry Seufert (@houstongoodwill) of Houston Goodwill who not only brokered this partnership between Christmas Sweaters and Houston Goodwill but also obtained 9 sweaters from her friends to be used over the month. Second, Alison Cook (@alisoncook) for writing a highly entertaining article in the Houston Chronicle. You should read her regular pieces on food and restaurant reviews at chron.com. Third, Philip Beck for being the original inspiration for such a large undertaking. Fourth, the peole whose eyes are really burning, the picture takers: Ned Dodington, Danielle Eley, Mandy Graessle and Grace Rodriguez. Finally, the kind people who took a second and made a financial donation to Goodwill.

What better way to celebrate the end of a month of sweaters than with a Gala:

The 2009 Goodwill Gala

March 28, 2009

River Oaks Country Club

7 p.m. – Midnight

Live, from River Oaks, it’s Saturday Night! This SNL-themed event will feature silent and live auctions with “mahvelous” items up for bid, a delicious sit-down dinner with a selection of wines, live music to dance the night away and a wonderful time by all.

Proceeds from this event will ensure that our programs and services will continue to be available for people with disabilities and other barriers to employment. The public is welcome to attend this signature night of comedy for charity.

There’s still time to donate through the end of 2008 (hours). Donate $5.00 to the end of the Christmas Sweater Advent Calendar by clicking the Chipin widget to the right or click below. Thank you.

How many of you say you’d like to make a contribution to Houston community but don’t know how? You can start by visiting Goodwill’s volunteer page here or call: 713-699-6338

Spring Cleaning on the docket for this weekend? Donate your extra goods to Goodwill. Visit this page for donations.

Christmas Sweater #28 is the real deal. TWO types of Christmas trees plus Christmas bling in the form of sequins and beads. The fabric is thick and rugged to keep you warm even though it looks like just a simple vest. Perfect with any undershirt or none at all (pictured with shirt).

Goodwill’s Plans for Expansion into 2013

Goodwill is working hard to raise millions of dollars through it’s Power of Work Campaign. As of 2008 they are already 68% of their goal of 15 million. Through this an other campaigns, by the end of 2013, Goodwill will increase their impact in the community by 50 percent by adding 25 new retail stores. Each new Goodwill store, once built, can generate more than $1 million each year in earned revenue and provide training and employment opportunities for disadvantaged and disabled men and women who would otherwise not be able to develop job skills or find employment.

Help Goodwill reach their goal of 25 new stores open by 2013 by donating $5.00 now. You can make a financial contribution to Houston Goodwill click the Chipin widget to the right or click below. Thank you.

Don’t have money? That’s alright, you can volunteer your time. Start by visiting Goodwill’s volunteer page here or call: 713-699-6338

Too much stuff? Visit this page for donations.

Christmas Sweater #27 is perplexing. First of all, it’s very simple and contains no shoulder pads although the reverse buttoning clearly marks it as a women’s sweater. Second, the sweater is that it’s not quite sure whether it wants to be in the Alpine Sweater category or the Christmas Sweater category. The pine trees and the deer on the front argue Alpine but the blinding varieties of red scream Christmas. Decide for yourself. Pictured with double helix scarf.

Goodwill’s Homeless Veteran’s Reintegration Program

Goodwill provides veterans with job readiness vocational training and placement by partnering with the United States Veterans Initiative-Houston. By finding veterans stable employment, Goodwill helps to break the cycle of homelessness for many veterans and successfully reintegrate them back into mainstream society.

For more information about this program, check out America’s Heroes at Work.

Now that we’re into the 12 Days of Christmas, think about making one of those days the day you give to Goodwill. You can make a financial contribution to Houston Goodwill click the Chipin widget to the right or click below. Thank you.

Why not make your New Year’s Resolution to volunteer more often? You can start by visiting Goodwill’s volunteer page here or call: 713-699-6338

On your to-do list: Remember to regift to Goodwill instead. Visit this page for donations.

It’s not over yet, we’re just cresting the hill of extra content. Think of the next week as the second disc of your Fight Club DVD where you can watch the film an additional four different ways with commentary by everyone involved in the film, including the set designer. If anyone is interested in guest commenting on these sweaters, please to put them in the comments, I’ll add them to the post.

Christmas Sweater #26, one of the sweaters rented by Terry Seufert of Houston Goodwill (@houstongoodwill) is all about science, including double helices, hearts and what I’m sure is the quarternary binding structure of rhodopsin. It is also a calm meditation on what happens when you take three or four other sweaters, cut them up and put them back together incorrectly.

Goodwill’s Employment Programs

Goodwill offers several employment programs for the Houston citizens they service. The first is through their Contract Services Division, the second is part of their Vocational Rehabilitational Services.

Through Goodwill Houston’s Contract Services Division, businesses haved saved money, time, and valuable resources since 1986. At the Charles R. Swain Memorial Contracts Center, located at 10795 Hammerly Blvd., the specialization is collating, assembly, packaging, quality control, shrink wrapping and other services for business and institutional customers on a contract basis [1]. You can watch a video about how Houston Goodwill’s Contract Services can save your company time and money.

Goodwill Houston’s Vocational Rehabilitational Services lead to supported employment for individuals who have most significant disabilities and for whom competitive employment has occurred, or has been interrupted or intermittant as a result of a significant disability. These services require a referral from the Texas Department of Assistive and Rehabilitative Services (DARS) [1]:

• Client and family orientation
• Transportation training
• Job placement
• Job skills training
• Job stabilization services that may include
  • On-the-job training
  • Job coaching

Happy Boxing Day! Those items that you took back today for cold hard cash? Why not share $5 worth for Goodwill of Houston. You can make a financial contribution to Houston Goodwill click the Chipin widget to the right or click below. Thank you.

Got nothing to do for the rest of the year? Take a half day and donate some time to Goodwill. To volunteer with Houston Goodwill please visit their volunteer page here or call: 713-699-6338

re: Boxing Day. Instead of returning those goods, why not just donate to Goodwill? Visit this page for donations.

1. http://goodwillhouston.org/contract.htm

Christmas Sweater #25 is the real deal. Donated by Renee Davis of The Center for Hearing and Speech, who recently held their uber successful Via Colori festival. It’s long, even on me. Renee mentioned she used to wear green tights with the sweater, sadly mine were at the tailor getting some runs repaired. Santa’s beard is three-dimensional with some sort of knit material running across the whole thing. The brim of Santa’s hat used to be fuzzy but years of festive wearing has rubbed it all off. And then there’s the tassles….

Goodwill Success Stories

The Houston Goodwill site includes four success stories of members of the Houston community who have personally grown and found jobs as a result of the education, training and job placement services. I personally feel that there should be a weekly success story as Goodwill helps so many people in the city of Houston and they all have unique and inspiring stories. Here’s one of these stories:

Derrick Williams

The pulsing heart of Goodwill’s resale operations can be found in the warehouse and loading dock on the “backside” of the Hammerly location. There, the donations that are the lifeblood of the stores flow in and out by means of Goodwill’s fleet of blue and white trucks, staffed by drivers and truck helpers. One of those helpers, Derrick Williams, has a story to tell that demonstrates just how Goodwill changes lives.

Derrick came to Goodwill about six years ago, referred by a friend. He started out in the Personal Social Adjustment—Work Adjustment Training (PSAWAT) program, where he received mentoring and a job at the same time. Operations Director Jim Thompson recalls that things weren’t always easy for Derrick, or for Derrick’s supervisors. He had difficulties with anger management, and at times it was uncertain whether he would be able to continue working for Goodwill, but the staff were not willing to give up on him easily.

Things began to turn around for Derrick when he was paired with driver Gary Holloway, who made a personal commitment to helping him succeed. With this help, and with the strength of his own determination, Derrick made a remarkable transformation and has become an excellent employee. Jim Thompson says, “We’ve often remarked how much we enjoy the ‘new Derrick’… and he’s been ‘new’ for a couple of years now!”

Derrick recognizes Jim, Gary, Anthony Loville, and Charles Canton as the mentors who have enabled him to succeed at Goodwill. He enjoys his work, which allows him to be physically active and to move around while earning support for his two-year-old twin sons. Derrick continues to serve as a reminder to his co-workers and supervisors of what can be accomplished through persistence and the desire to succeed.

Check out three more success stories from Goodwill’s Houston chapter here.

Please, in the spirit of Christmas, make a small (even $5 helps) to Houston Goodwill so that they can continue to provide the services and training so that people like Derrick can obtain secure jobs and in turn make a contribution back to Houston. Make a financial contribution to Houston Goodwill by clicking the Chipin widget to the right or below. Thank you.

Derrick was able to receive the job training and counseling he needed as a result of Goodwill’s services and training. If you have valuable expertise to share you should call Goodwill to arrange a time to volunteer. To volunteer with Houston Goodwill please visit their volunteer page here or call: 713-699-6338

You know all those gifts you received today that you don’t want or need? Someone does. Visit this page to donate good to Goodwill.

It’s only one day from the best Christmas Sweater of them all. Get the bubbly chilled but don’t break it out just yet. Christmas Sweater #24 depicts the triumphant return of Santa’s sleigh to the North Pole following a whirlwhind trip around the earth. This begs to question, with a workshop that can literally produce any product on earth, what does one get the man who has everything? And haven’t the reindeer done enough? You’d think they’d want to be stabled for the night to sleep off their ultra-marathon. But no, the festivities have just begun for them and it’s time to hang their own stockings and decorate their individual trees because as everyone knows, Christmas for Santa is on the 26th.

Trashy styling of the picture and the button left open to scratch my belly as a nod to one particular night at the Proletariat last year. And as a thanks to Monica, Denise Ramos and all of the members of The Proletariat, without whom, 2007 would have been much healthier and MUCH less fun.

Goodwill’s Educational Programs

Goodwill Houston’s Academy of Career Development (DARS, Worksource Solution approved) is a self-paced program focusing on career development. Licensed by the Texas Workforce Commission, Career Schools and Colleges, Goodwill Houston’s Academy of Career Development’s instructors help you prepare for work in the clerical, financial services and customer service fields. Courses are available in general office skills, Microsoft Office, customer service, and accounting and bookkeeping. The best part: Scholarships are available [1]. For more information, check out Houston Goodwill’s Job Connection page or call 713-699-6320.

With the holiday season upon us, contributing to local non-profits is always a good idea. Think about making a contribution in the name of a member of your family. You can make a financial contribution to Houston Goodwill click the Chipin widget to the right or click below. Thank you.

If you’re reading this blog, you already have the skills that the Goodwill education centers are teaching. Think about volunteering to share some of your knowledge for the greater good. Remember, “We’re all in it together kid” [2]. To volunteer with Houston Goodwill please visit their volunteer page here or call: 713-699-6338

Instead of having a garage sale, why not make it painless and donate your goods to Goodwill? Visit this page for donations.

1. http://goodwillhouston.org/jobconnection.htm

2. Harry Tuttle, Brazil

Christmas Sweater #23 is all about the love that we experience during this holiday season. Shown here is Santa giving Mrs. Claus an eskimo kiss (it’s cold up there, no?) before he heads out to spread cheer among all the naughty and nice children of the earth. Mrs. Claus is holding a baby reindeer answering the age old question: are the reindeer immortal too? Answer: no, that’s Dasher the VI. The train motif continues on the back just below the shoulders (inset below), letting you know that Tom Hanks wasn’t kidding about the Polar Express.

Goodwill’s Training Programs

Goodwill has several training programs designed to teach individuals to enter the workplace prepared to take a full time job in many industries. These training programs are offered through their Job Connection Centers, located at (1) Midtown Terrace, 4640 Main St., Houston, TX 77002 and (2) Jackson Hinds Gardens at Independence Heights SRO, 650 Thornton Rd., Houston, TX 77018.

These training centers provide assessment and instruction in business skills, computer skills, customer service, interview preparation and job readiness. The centers have computer and Internet access, telephones and fax machines, providing clients the resources they need for job success.

These training programs are also matched with the Mental Health Association, the Houston SRO (Single Room Occupancy) Housing Corporation, the City of Houston and more than 13 other agencies in a wide-ranging service model program to solve the issue of homelessness. These projects demonstrate a multi-faceted approach to addressing homelessness that pairs housing with comprehensive support services [1].

Small contributions are the easiest this Holiday season.  Why not donate $5 to Goodwill, and you can feel like you’ve positively contributed to Houston’s homeless population. To make a financial contribution to Houston Goodwill click the Chipin widget to the right or click below. Thank you.

If you’d like to make a direct and personal impact like Jason Armstrong (@elegantmachines), why not arrange to volunteer? To volunteer with Houston Goodwill please visit their volunteer page here or call: 713-699-6338

How about all those things that are just taking up space? Why not call Goodwill and donate them? Visit this page for donations.

1. http://goodwillhouston.org/jobconnection.htm